Best Parenting Style

According to Parenting attribute model 4 main elements of good parenting are:

Knowledge and Education
Relationship with God
Relationship with Children
Relationship with Others

The most important element of this model is Knowledge and Education. Without knowledge a person wouldn’t know the rights and duties of other people, he/she can’t give others their rights. Thus, knowledge is necessary for understanding the rights and duties of children, for childcare, for child development. For having a good relationship with Allah, it is necessary that parents have knowledge of three important fields of knowledge:

1. Tawhid (ma’rifat): it means that God is one, He is Unique, Peerless, Creator of everything.
2. Tasawuf: It means knowledge of the heart.
3. Shara (Islamic Law): It is important in order to know which thing is good and which is prohibited.

Relationship with God:

For having a good relationship with God, 6 main things are:

1. Knowledge: Knowledge is the thing that creates the difference between man and animal, kindness and evil, justice and injustice, brutality and mercy. Only those who have knowledge maintain justice, without knowing a person doesn’t know what is prohibited and disastrous, knowledge brings mercy and guidance. Every Prophet comes in this world to teach.
According to Al-Ghazali:
"Spiritual knowledge is the root and worldly knowledge is its branch. Knowledge is the food of Heart, without knowledge heart becomes dead. Knowledge is the base of Happiness and Success.”

2. Strong Faith: Parents must have strong faith. Strong faith is the requirement of nurturing children because if a person has strong faith in Allah, he would surely be calm and would have the ability to overcome difficulties. A person always remains calm when he believes that nothing could happen without the command of God.
3. Prayer: It is like a shield, it makes a strong connection between Allah and Man. Whenever a man becomes frustrated, prayer gives new courage to stand.
4. Fasting: Fasting is a religious practice in many religions. It teaches man self-control: in matters of desires, needs, anger, heartsickness and frustration.
5. Quran Recitation
6. Good Ethic of Conduct

Relationship with Children:

Children have the right to be brought up with love, affection, care, dedication and a lot of Patience. Parents must have a good relationship with their children. In order to have a good relationship with children, the following 6 things must be followed:

1. Permissible Earning: Parents must have permissible earning. Permissible Earning is highly important in order to meet the demands of life. Permissible earning brings satisfaction, prosperity and happiness.
2. Affection: Parents need to show affection to children. Affection and care is necessary for good emotional, mental, and physical development.
3. Discipline: Parents must discipline Children. Disciplining includes helping them in differentiating between right and wrong and incorporating positive skills and attributes in children.
4. Close Relationship: Parents must maintain close relationships with children.
5. Equal Treatment: They need to do equal Treatment among all children.
6. Fulfill Needs: They must fulfill a child’s needs. This includes not only basic needs but also other needs including the need for security, love and all the other rights of children.
7. Potential Development: Parents must do the potential development of children. This includes the identification and development of a child’s potentials, abilities and talents. Al-Ghazali in his book Ihya wrote:

“A child is your flower until he reaches the age of seven, you will enjoy his fragrance. When he is seven years old, he becomes your servant and thereafter he becomes either your enemy or sharer in your works.”

Relationship with Others:

Relationships with friends, family members and others play a very important role in the life of a person as well as on the life of their children. Parents are role-model for children. In order to nurture children in a better way Parents need to 

1. Build and maintain relationships: Parents are Role Model for Children so if Parents have good relationships with others, if they have good friends, children would definitely learn this from Parents.
2. Respect Others: parents must honor elders and show affection with younger ones, they need to care for neighbors, friends and relatives. These things incorporate a positive attitude in children.
3. Loving and Caring for others: Parents must care for others, must have sympathetic behavior, they must not cheat and fraud others.
4. Selfless Act of Generosity: Parents need to encourage generosity and discourage selfishness in children’s behavior.
5. Mediatory Role: Parents must control their anger and aggression and cope with frustrating situations wisely. This acts as a good model for children and they learn problem-solving and self-control from parents.

‘Trustful Parenting’, is a term used for those parents who:

• Trust their children’s abilities, and let children find themselves and their innate talents.
• They let them grow on their own with parental support.
• They are always there with their children and let them learn from their mistakes.
• They make their children free individuals.
• They are not irrationally afraid of others' comments and future.
• They themselves don’t take each and every decision of their children but help children in this.

So, Parents need to follow the above 4 main elements and trust their children in order to be a good parent and for better nurturing.